39 and counting

It's official, I just crossed the threshold of the final year of my thirties. Yesterday I turned 39. That's right, one year until the big 40. They say that 40 is the new 20, and although that saying was probably made up by someone in extreme denial, I like to think it is true.

I enjoyed my 30's and I've been asking myself if I've accomplished every goal and reached the pinnacle of the vision I had for my life during this decade. In pondering this question, I ask another...what person has ever really reached every goal they've declared? After all, is this really the purpose of goals and vision. To me, the past decade was a great one, not because I accomplished 100% of the things I set out to accomplish, but because I can honestly say that I moved in a continual forward motion, which to me is the importance of vision to begin with.

Some highlights of my 30's...

Travels...

1. Italy...got incredibly sick, but awesome experience.
2. Africa...had the privileged of traveling to Uganda and Kenya twice.
3. London...OK, to be honest it was on my way to Uganda. We had a ten hour layover, but I got some incredible pictures of London...so I'm counting it.

Dreams & Vision

1. Planting Life Christian Center in Shippensburg, PA. It has always been a dream since college to plant a church. We started the plant in 1999 and concluded our time there last August (2006). It was a great learning experience. We have memories that will last a life time and we built a great church that is continuing to move forward under a great pastor and leader...Rusty Williams.
2. My Children. McKenzie and Conner were born when I was in my late 20's, however, my 30's were spent moving them through their childhood years. Tracy and I often sit and laugh about the many great times we had with them, and the many to come. They are now moving into their teens, and I am so proud of what they are becoming. Watching their personalities flourish is more fun than anything else.

Things I would change if I could.

1. Buying a motorcycle sooner. It almost took the entire decade to convince my wife to let my buy it...although I don't think I really convinced her...she just got sick of my incessant begging. (And I wonder where my son gets it?)
2. Some of the battles I've fought. Leadership is about picking the right battles, and looking back on my 30's I realize that I picked some battles to fight that just weren't worth it. Yes, hindsight is alway 20/20, but in retrospect, I think I unnecessarily hurt some people in the process...for that I'm sorry.
3. I would not have eaten the calamari in Italy (see point #1 under travels).

Those are my thoughts as I sit at my desk on the first full day of my 39th year. I believe that God only gives good gifts to his kids. Everything that he allows to come our way has the potential to be a blessing, even the things we aren't fond of. So my prayer for this year is that I would recognize those blessings as truly that...His incredible hand guiding me in every step.

Heart Health

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to your, Oh Lord, My strength and my redeemer." ~ Psalms 19:4

I was thinking about this verse and concentrating on the second part..."the meditation of my heart." I've always looked at this in light of my conscious thoughts, which it certainly does apply, however, I started to see it in relationship to the deepest, most cavernous places in my heart. The places that are visible to no one, not even to my own self.

I think there are a lot of places in our lives that aren't readily visible to ourselves, and its during the times of trial that something shakes an internal rock loose only to reveal a wild animal that we had no idea existed in us. It could be anger to a level that you never knew you had, a attitude of covetousness, arrogance, or even a level of insecurity you never dreamed existed.

God has a way of brining seismic tremors to our lives so that these hidden places can be revealed. His desire is to love us through them, causing us to run to him for shelter. He wants to reconstruct us through them, making us more strong and agile so that our lives can more model his.

"Above all else", Solomon writes, "guard the heart, for it is the wellspring of life." ~ Proverbs 4:23

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Staying On Course

"Values alway decay overtime. Societies that keep their values alive do so not by escaping the process of decay, but by the powerful processes of regeneration." ~ John Gardner

WOW! What an incredible statement...one that reflects the universal law of entropy, which states that every thing goes from a state of order to a state of disorder in the world around us.

I see this in my own life all the time. Take my house for instance. For the most part we try to keep our house in some kind of order throughout the week. However, I've noticed that my family can clean it up, go away for the day, and within an hour of returning home, things are totally in an upheaval.

I'm trying my hardest to teach my children the necessity of cleaning as they go...they're still learning this one, and sometimes I wonder if they'll ever get it. Some of the simplest, most common sensical (hey, if Bush can make them up so can I) things they just don't seem to grasp, i.e. your personal belongings shouldn't go where people have to walk, wrappers go in the trash not on the counter or table, check to see if there's toilet paper before you commit...simple things, not rocket science.

I've found this law to be true in my personal journey as well. Living an ordered life isn't easy and doesn't happen naturally, at least not for me. If I'm not paying attention to the house cleaning of my own life, I find that the cobwebs pile up, the pipes become clogged, and the walls begin to crack at an alarming rate.

I have found the answer is in the small and preventative things. Paying attention to a small breach in the dam will keep it from becoming too big...too late. Those small things are different for all of us, but the key is recognizing what they are. So ask yourself, what are the most important things that I should be paying attention to on a daily basis? Paying a little attention, a small amount of the time, will keep you going in the direction that God desires for you.

Way Back Memories

Thought I'd post on a lighter note today. I've been reminiscing about the past and thinking about the way things were when I was a teen. Here are some pictures and description of things I remember.


The TRS-80, or affectionately known as the "Trash 80." This was the first computer I learned how to operate. It was basically only useful in word processing, spreadsheets, and databases. You could play a few games on it, but everything looked like stick figures and wasn't very challenging.



The Brick Phone. The first portable cell phone that you didn't have to have hard wired in your car. I didn't have one, because price tag was somewhere near a thousand dollars. My father-in-law, however did have one. I have one distinct memory of his huge brick phone sticking out of his back pocket as he walked into a store. Why those kind of pictures stick with me, I have no idea.




The Walkman. This was the hottest thing to own when I was in high school. It also came with a hefty price tag. I often catch myself calling my iPod a walkman...totally gives away my age.



The Pegged Jeans. This was truly an art form. In the 80 and early 90's we were so concerned with our jeans being flared or belled at the bottom, we would peg them. You would achieve this by folding over the bottom of your jeans and rolling/cuffing them as tightly to your ankles as possible (see illustration).



That's my way back experience for today. Please comment if you have a way back experience you want to share.

Child Soldiers

I watched the movie "Blood Diamonds" this past weekend. It's a very telling moving about the diabolical acts of the diamond cartel and the countless African lives that are lost daily because of the selfishness of the "civilized" west.

The most gripping part of the movie is the account of the child soldiers. Young boys, who are around the age of 10, are violently taken from their parents and turned into brutal killers. They are quickly addicted to drugs and brain washed to do the most heinous things.

There are over 200,000 child soldiers in Africa today. As I was watching the movie my son came into the room. I looked at him and it hit me, most of these kids are his age. Perspective came to my heart right then and there and I realized that one child soldier is too many.

It's amazing to me how little the west does to rectify what is going on in Africa. We rush to war in the name of protecting our own security, but we idly sit by while hundred's of thousands of children have their innocence brutally stolen on a daily basis. What is equally troubling is how little we hear of these things in the media.

Gary Skinner, who is the founder of Watoto Child Care Ministries in Uganda, Africa recently announced a very bold vision for Uganda. Currently Watoto serves the city off Kampala, Uganda by providing a solid home for orphans. They are branching out into Northern Uganda (an area of unrest and civil war with over 25,000 child soldiers) and opening a home for the purpose of rescuing and rehabilitating these children turned killers.

We should all educate ourselves to these kind of things and begin to ask God what we can do to make a difference.

To learn more about child soldiers click on the links below

World Vision

Child Soldiers.org

Wikipedia (online encyclopedia)

I Hate Confrontation

Perhaps some, if not most of you can identify with me when I say that I don't like confrontation. In fact, I so dislike it that I tend to lean towards being passive-aggressive. So, when something happens to me in life, instead of facing it immediately and standing up for myself, I am tempted to internalize it.

Some people think this is the right thing to do, but...it's not. Why? Because when you internalize everything the aggression eventually surfaces, and for me it surfaces around those who I am the most secure with...my family, friends, etc.

I've learned some very tough and frustrating lessons in my years of ministry concerning confrontation. I am by no means an expert and I still have to force myself to confront when necessary, but ultimately I'm becoming less afraid of it than I used to be. I want to share a few points with you that may help you when confrontation become necessary.

1. Learn to Pick Your Battles - not everything that happens to you is worthy of a confrontation. Discerning which battles are worth the effort and which ones are not, is key to maintaining the strength and discipline needed to survive in life.

2. Anger and Confrontation Don't Mix - they are like oil and water. If it is necessary for you to confront someone, don't do it until your anger and frustration has tempered. When you go into battle with a hot head, you'll always say and do things that you will end up regretting.

3. The Goal of Confrontation Is Not To Change the Way the Other Person Thinks, Acts, or Speaks - I think this is an area that so many people miss the boat on. I know for me there have been many times when I've gone into a situation thinking it was my job to change a person. I found out that not only is it not my job, but that I literally can't. I tell my kids all the time that you cannot control what people think, say, or do to you, but you can control how you react to it, and that is what confrontation is all about.

4. Confrontation Is About Protecting and Maintaining your Strength, Dignity, and Worth - in essence it is more about self change than the change of others. A number of years ago, when I was living in Pennsylvania, there was a man in our church who was very manipulative in nature. For years he was able to control decisions and it really hurt the growth of our church. It wasn't until I confronted him on it that things began to change. I didn't change him, in fact, shortly thereafter he left the church, but it did change me. The confrontation restored my strength, dignity and worth that God desired for me to have as a leader.

5. Confrontation Is A Tool For Bringing Truth to the Surface - many times I have gone into a situation thinking I was right only to find out, through the confrontation, that I had totally misunderstood the person or circumstances at hand. This has always served to make our relationship stronger and more effective for the tasks ahead of us.

6. Confrontation is neutral in itself - when treated haphazardly and used in the wrong way, it is a tool for the devil that will sever relationships and what God desires through them. When used in the right way, it becomes a tool that God uses to bring growth to all our relationships. When confrontation is necessary, pray for wisdom and approach it with humility and grace.

Well, that's my six point manifesto on what I've learned about confrontation. Feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment. If you receive my blog via email, you can click on the following link http://ethoughts.tv. There is a place to leave a comment at the bottom of the post.

Here and Now And The Future

Thinking back to the time when my kids, who are now 11 and 12, were much younger, my memory recalled an incident that happened one Christmas when they were probably 3 and 4.

We were at the local mall enjoying the decorations, letting them sit on Santa's lap, and having some quality family time. It was during this treck through our suburban jungle that they saw a Christmas train, sort of like the train that Ricky Schroeder rode in on every week on the tv show Silver Spoons if you can remember that far back (BTW, now that he's got a part on "24", I keep waiting for him to come riding into CTU on a similar train...might make a great SNL sketch).

When my kids saw this train they became insistent on riding it, therefore making every word that proceeded from their tiny mouths for the next half hour..."can we wide the twain...can we wide the twain." As any little kid would do, they continue with this verbal badgering until my wife and I could stand it no longer.

It was at this point that we tried the famous "reverse psychology" on them. Those of you with kids, you know how this works. When you want your children to do something you tell them to do the opposite, giving them no choice but to do what you originally wanted. Some people call this decietful, I call it God's gift to parents.

Anyhow, we told them that we didn't have any cash - which was true - and that the only way they could ride the train was to give up all their Christmas presents.

After saying this, I thought for sure that my children would take the high road and hold out for Christmas day...they didn't. With a smile on each of their faces that stretched from ear to ear, they, with reckless abandonment said..."OK!"

I tried to reason with them, but it was to no avail, and again my wife and I were bombarded with their constant pleading..."We'll give up our pwesents...we'll give up our pwesent...we want wide the twain..."

We put up with this chatter for what seemed like an eternity, and when I realized that the pleading wasn't going to stop anytime soon, I did what any normal parent would do to redirect their passions...I bought them ice cream, and like always, it worked like a charm.

As I thought about this little incident, I realized how, even as adults, we so often fall into the trap that my kids fell into that day...living our lives for the here and now without considering the consequences of the future. We all do this in one way or another, whether it's how we budget our money, make excuses for why we have to have the next best thing at the expense of our future, or fall into the trap of thinking the grass is greener on the other side. When we do this, however, we put ourselves in danger of missing out on all the blessings that God has stored up for us in the future.

The old proverb, "pay now and play later," is one that we should all grab hold of in life, and one that will always pave the way for God's blessings in our lives.

The Face of Evil vs. The Face of Good

Among the many victims of the VA Tech tragedy, two faces have arisen that I'm going to post about. One is the face of evil, a young man, who I wouldn't have been able to single out as a sociopath. The other is the face of everything good about the human race, a man who survived the holocaust only to lose, or should I say give his life in a somewhat modern day one.

When you look at these two men, their lives seem to be in sharp contrast to one another. The contrast comes, however, not in pitches that life has throne them, but in the way they played the game.

Both men, obviously have had a lot of curve balls throne their way. One, endured the torture and persecution of an evil empire that wanted to eradicate his entire race, the other faced his own persecution in ways that are yet to be revealed, but obviously had a serious effect on his life.

What is the difference? What makes one a psychotic killer and the other a hero of the day? What made one take the path to preserve life while the other threw life to the wolves?

All of us, at one time or another, have to face the adversity that life throws our way. These two men weren't different in this way...they both were obvious victims of an unfair and unjust world. The difference, however, was in the way they chose their response.

In one of Robert Frost's most famous poems he writes...two paths diverged in the woods and I, I took the one less traveled, and it has made all the difference.

The choice we make in how we respond to a situation truly does make all the difference. I must admit, I'm faced with this decision every day. There is always an opportunity to choose bitterness over grace, hate over love, and retribution over forgiveness. The former pushes us towards destruction, the latter - towards life.

Life always finds a way to arise from the ashes of destruction. This old man who gave his life for his students will always be remembered, always be talked about - he'll always be a hero because he chose his response wisely.

Tragedy at VA Tech

My heart aches for all those involved in yesterday's senseless tragedy at VA. Tech.

My mind is going in so many different directions with this one. I think about the parents who lost a child - one minute everything is normal, and the next their world has been shattered, leaving nothing but splinters of what was and what could have been.

I think about the students and faculty who will be effected for the rest of their lives...it will take a conscious choice to rise above the fear and bitterness of the day.

I think about those in authority at the campus, from the president to the police chief and every one in between. They've probably already started the guessing game of what could have we done differently..., if only we had..., etc.

I think about the one who is responsible for the killings and after getting past the initial disgust, I can't help but wonder what kind of pain must have been in his heart to cause him to do such a thing.

This tragedy is yet another reminder of the broken world we all share...a world that is in desperate need of Jesus.

Let's all remember those involved in this tragedy and pray that God would make himself real to them in the middle of their pain.

Times of Crisis

"Crisis doesn't make a person, it reveals you for what you are. You don't know who someone is until adversity comes. It shows the cracks, and the cracks are where God leaks through."

I'm not sure who wrote that statement, but I realize how true it is in my own life. When I go through a crisis in my life, God reveals to me the areas of character that I need to allow him to work on in order to fill up the fishers in my life.

The following are some things I've learned that help me when adversity comes to my life.

First, don't internalize what God is trying to bring to the surface. When I internalize, I take on this passive-aggressive role that ends up hurting the people who are close to me and the true issue at hand never gets dealt with. I've learned that standing up with courage is vital to the health and growth of my character. Sometimes this means confrontation with others, more often it means confrontation with myself.

Second, band-aiding or trying to cover up the crack is never a good idea. We never help ourselves or others when we try to cover things up and pretend that everything is OK. It's only when we are courageous enough to let our imperfections to be visible that God can come and fill them with His grace, bringing us the forgiveness and the change that we all need.

Come Together

As I'm typing this post, I'm listening to a new album I downloaded off iTunes..."LIVE!" The John Adams Group, These guys are absolute amazing musicians.

I'm currently listening to their rendition of the Beatles' song "Come Together"... it rocks. I remember listening to a worship CD put out by the people at Morningstar Ministries and they actually used this song in their worship line up. They tweaked a few of the words in the verses but let the chorus remain the same. Surprisingly it worked..."Come together over me." A song about Godly community.

I don't think this would work at the Church of Hope, but I do think it is a great concept to take a song and redeem it for the cause of Christ. Perhaps we should work to redeem more of the things we see around us for God...Just a thought.

Those Who Sow In Tears

I was reading in Psalms chapter 126 this morning. I have read this passage before, in fact, it is a rather popular song, easy to memorize because of the way the poetry flows. As I took some time to really think it through I realize how much meaning is behind the words...meaning for my life.

Verses 5 and 6 says; "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."

These two verses speak to me about an attitude of "no retreat" that God desires for all of his children to have. An attitude that says; "no matter how hard things may get, no matter how tough the terrain may be, no matter how much pain I'm personally feeling in life, I will continue to be a blessing to the world around me, by continuing to be a giver, a sower.

On Sunday an older gentleman came to me and told me he had a son named Stevie who died when he was two years old. Judging by the man's age, that tragedy probably happened close to 50 years ago. Even with a smile on his face, I could still see his pain...yet he continues to sow.

A guy named of Doug Herman lost his wife and child to the AIDS virus. She contracted it through a blood transfusion and passed it on to her little girl. Even after many years, and the God of mercy's restoration, the pain is still evident...yet he continues to sow.

I remember the joy my wife and I felt when friends of ours had a beautiful baby girl. That joy turned quickly to pain as we stood by her grave 28 days later. Whenever my friend gets news of someone else's child being in the hospital, he's the first to be there...the pain is almost unbearable for him...yet he continues to sow.

Verse 2 of Psalms 126 gives us the result of our continuing to sow, even in the midst of tears and pain..."Then it was said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them. The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

As Long As It Is Called Today

The Lord continues to teach me the importance of having joy in the present. Too often I don't take time to truly savor the present, because it's not ultimately where I want to be, but in not doing so, I chance missing the lessons that today has to offer.

If I'm not willing to walk through today, learning from all it has to teach me, I'll never gain the strength to grow into tomorrow.

A New Church Growth Tracker

We had record numbers at the church of Hope yesterday. Without having the official count, I would guess we were pushing 1800. Churches measure growth in many different ways and here at the church of hope we came up with a new way of doing so.

Our building and grounds director told me today that we went through 28 roles of toilet paper in yesterday's morning service alone. Now that is a new twist on church statistics.

Choose Your Response

"...True leadership, is always about struggle. It is about two things: One, having values, and two, being willing to fight for hose values. If you want to be a leader you must have values, a set of beliefs, convictions, and ideals - a vision for your country, you community and your business. You must be willing to step into the arena and fight for those values, for that "worthy cause." ~Benjamin Nitanyahu~

What a powerful quote for us to remember. I think another thing that sets a person apart as a leader is not only the ongoing struggle of fighting for your values, but the on going need to keep from getting discouraged and wounded in the process.

Discouragement and hurt looms around every corner of our lives. We all feel it and we all let us effect us in one way or another. The difference in those great leaders that seem to be unaffected by it, lies in their ability to choose their response. A person chooses to let discouragement go too far, chooses to become wounded and taken out of the fight. God has given all of us the ability to choose our responses in life.

How does a person choose the right response?

First, they must have a deep and unshaken conviction of what his/her values are in life. What is most important to them that they are determined to fight for. I think a lot of people give up too easy and it's probably because they didn't believe enough in what they were fighting for.

Second, they must have the courage to defend those values to the point of no return. I have often said that the greatest enemy to what God desires to do through a person's life is the desire for self-preservation.

Third, when all is said and done, their attitude towards people, and especially those people who opposed them must remain hopeful and forgiving. The values that a true leader has goes beyond themselves and bleeds over to the people around them...even to those who mis-understood them and were the cause of some of their persecution.

History is full of people who modeled this type of attitude. In fact, this past weekend we celebrated the death and resurrection of someone who modeled it like none other...Jesus Christ. He is the true model of vision, values, and leadership that we, as believers, should strive to be like every day.

Quotable on Value

Here are a few quotes I came across is one of my journals that goes with yesterday's post on adding value to those around us.

"The Deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated" ~William James~

"Nothing will improve a man's hearing more than praise" ~C. Wadsworth~

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." ~Mother Teresa~

The Craving to Be Valued

I believe that one of the greatest desires of every man, woman, and child is a deep craving to be valued in life. There is no greater motivator when value is applied to a person's life and there is no greater discouragement when a person doesn't feel it.

Think about this; in the scope of all our human interaction, i.e., marriages, friendships, work, play, etc., when does a person feel most alive? When your point is being heard? When your ideas are being used? When you're given even a tiny amount of recognition for a job well done? I would say that all those things make a person feel alive.

I also believe that one of the greatest leadership skills a person can possess is the ability to bring that value out in other people. I have come to realize a few things that I think are important in helping us give that value to others.

First, invite people into the arena of life. What I mean by that is invite them into your world, your decisions, to be a part of your team. Most of us, unless you were a super jock, remembers what it is like to be picked last for a team during gym class or recess. Do you remember how it made you feel? Invitation is such a powerful tool in bringing out the value in others.

Second, include people. There is not a greater degree of humiliation when you are invited to a team only to be told to ride the bench. We tell people to ride the bench when we don't allow their opinions to be voiced and we don't include them in the overall process.

Lastly, empower people. When you empower a person on the team, you give them ownership. When a person feels ownership, they experience the highest degree of value that life has to offer. When ownership is taken and realized, not only does it bring a high value to the person, it brings security and safety to the entire team as well as a level of loyalty that can't be outdone.

When you value people, you make winners out of those around you; your kids, your spouse, your friends, your employees, etc. And here is the kicker...Because people crave value so deeply, when a person doesn't do all they can to bring value to those around them, they [people] will go and find someone who will.

Fatal Distractions

I've been thinking about the fender benders that I have had throughout the years, and I have realized that everyone was a result of being distracted by something that was going on around me.

One in particular stands out to me. It happened when we lived in West Memphis, Arkansas. We were taking our children to a birthday party and for some unseen reason traffic was backed up. As we neared the source of the problem, my wife called out, "Steve, look at the blood all over that guys face!" Well, needless to say that's all it took. I looked...the lady in front of me stopped...I didn't. My car was mangled, my wife's head took out the windshield, and I got a pretty steep fine (I also added another story to my wife's ever growing arsenal about me that she tells at every opportunity she can).

These kind of incidents represent what unhealthy distractions can do to us in life. First, they serve to take our focus off the journey and destination that is vitally important to pay attention to. Second, they put us at a level of danger that is not healthy for you or for those around you. And third, the damage they cause can serve to side line you longer than you desire.

Over the years, some of the potentially fatal disasters in my own life have been...

Wrong relationships. The Bible is right when it says that "bad company corrupts good character." I find that the quality of my relationships either push me towards my destination or gets me stranded on the side of the road.

An unhealthy desire for success. Don't get me wrong, I think success is great and I'm all about shooting for the stars and living a life of vision, but sometimes that drive can be unhealthy especially if I allow it to push me to neglect the more important things in life, like family.

Idleness. This is probably one of the greatest danger points for me. When I allow myself to be idle I open myself to temptations that I don't need or want. The old saying, "idleness is the devil's workshop" is very true.

What are the fatal distractions that have potential in your life? Evaluating your life and asking these kind of questions is vital to steering clear of the things that can destroy you.

Messy Ministry

What is it like to walk in the shoes of another? I think that is a question that we all should ask ourselves on a continual basis. But perhaps instead of simply asking the question, it would be more beneficial to actually put ourselves in those shoes from time to time.

Think about this, how would a "normal" person's perspective change if they spent a week in a wheel chair, or wearing ear plugs, or a blind fold? Would it change the way we minister to people and especially those who get swept by the wayside because we don't take the time to think with hearts of empathy?

The Apostle Paul sums up this attitude best in Philippians 2:3&4 when he says, "...but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

I'll be honest with you, I don't take enough time to think about the needs of those around me. I tend to get wrapped up in the glamour of doing ministry, forgetting that God never intended for ministry to be glamorous. The opposite, in fact is true... ministry, at it's core, is meant to be dirty, messy, and self effacing.

This week in my personal time, I've decided to journey through the final week of Jesus before his crucifixion. It's starts in a very glamorous way with the triumphal entry, but it certainly doesn't end that way. Christ's final week shows us how un-glamorous ministry is and it's only when we embrace it as such, that it truly becomes redemptive in nature.